Backstory: a few years ago I really was that person that would partake once a year at the block party. Then my friends and I tried our first edible. It was such a great day!
Fast forward a couple of years, would pick up some edibles when I was in Colorado and enjoy once in a while.
2 years ago I got my medical card (migraines, but also because recreational wasn’t a thing yet, now it is). And I was still a once in a while.
Pandemic hit, my business closed for 3 months, and told my neighbor “I think I smoke too much” and she asked how much I’ve been smoking…”couple times a week”. And she just laughed and said talk to her when I smoke a couple times a day.
Lately though, it’s been a daily thing. At least the last week and a half, I have gotten high every night. I’m still functioning, it’s not interfering with my work, it’s not keeping me from things, but I also have a sister who is an alcoholic so I think “is this how it starts?”. But for me it’s take a hit or two from a bowl, another couple an hour later and then bed. On Sunday it’s an edible because it’s like forced down time. To me, imbibing is like other people having a cocktail at the end of the day.
I’m planning on taking a tolerance break (or just a break because I still have a pretty low tolerance) and the rational side of me says “no you’re fine because it’s not impacting your life” but the other part feels like I’m judging myself like my friends would who don’t smoke. Even though I’m in my 40s and truly shouldn’t give a fuck.
TL/DR: Pandemic + being single + cold weather + people not doing stuff = am I becoming dependent?